So all you wonderful people... Have a great holiday season..

We are in the last dregs of getting ready, I am fighting off anxiety and the usual sense of impending doom. Have started a work out programme that helps dissapate this negative energy that seems to gather in the morning and nag at me all day. I am tired of the fear caused by panic attacks which leads to more fear and anxiety and then of course more panic. I am telling my amygdala to behave itself. There is nothing to fear, no reason for the pounds of anxiety and after the last HUGE check up I went through a few months ago I am perfectly healthy for a person my age.Not too fat, not too thin, good BP all blood values normal and nothing abnormal showed up on the ultrasound.

Today we will be getting the last amazon gifts sorted out, the house cleaned so that we don't come back to a pit. That way we can relax when we come back and enjoy the rest of the holidays without looking around at chaos.

I am hoping that getting away from it all for a bit will allow me to get back on track with the writing and finish the second book. But of course at this time of year there are a lot of things to distract and my brain is too full of lists to be useful for anything else.

Anyway folks, I hope your holiday winterfest thingy is filled with fun, family, laughter and love. Will see y'all when I get back...

xxs and oos.

It is that time of year again. The crazy race to get it all done before a certain date. I threw convention into the wind this year and send packages off to people and they went surface. So can I say for the record I loath this time of year.

It doesn't help that I suspect I am heading into peri menopause. I had a freak out session yesterday which co incided with me starting my period. When I think back I begin to put two and two togetehr and see that many if not most of my panic attacks the really bad ones have all co incided with my period. Hormones ....bad things all around.

Now when I cross ref all those symptoms of pre menopause I can pretty much check them all off. *sigh*

Just what I need.  Still it's all just guess work with nothing confirmed.

I don't know what to say. I have nothing to say. What is there to say? My life is blah blah blah at the moment. Nothing wrong, nothing bad just blah. That time of year.

so if I don't get around to posting before we bugger of to Germany, land of great Christmas markets and gluhwein...

Merry HO HO.

until then, be excellent to each other.