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| gone gone gone |
| 08.19.05 (8:01 pm) [edit] |
|
okay so we are off to DE for two weeks and internet will be sporadic,,,,, will try to get stuff for the fan-fic up bit no promises..... in the mean time be excellent to each other hugs |
| more words |
| 08.17.05 (8:37 am) [edit] |
|
YAY oh joy amazon is my life saver. 5 whole unread books just arrived at my door today. and I am so hyped. Books in a language I can read without a dictionary.... books I can wallow in a tub fully of scented bubbles with and vanish into an alternate universe. *contented sigh* --- we have been talking about writing , and the theme continues. I am still at it, pounding this black keyboard with its keys that love to jump around under my fingers ( hence the frequent typos) and still waking up eating sleeping and breathing in another world. The word of the day is disjointed with it's secondary back up being intense followed shortly by passion. after staying up till 3am fighting wave after wave of evil Sith thugs and Pirates ( please don't ask) I am now trying to sift through my multi task agenda and figure out what I need to get done first. Which is why I am sitting here writing a blog...drinking cold coffee avoiding looking at the clock...go figure... choices...do I... Get the slowly but surely forming traffic jam of words OUTOFMYHEAD now or sit down and do the list of count em, ten scrolls that have to be done by monday for posting. Okay okay half of them are half done..... and they are small and simple ones, the biggie I am cheating with and using an already done border ( very nice) but still.....or run about and clean my house because we are leaving for two weeks.....and the house is a pit atm. I worry about this because with the words mess in my head I can't sit still and calligraphy and Illumination requires a still mind body heart. But at the same the nagging sense of you are procrastinating something that HAS to be done NOW .... jangles the ability to sit down and exorsize said word-jam from said head. grr argh! and the house needs to be cleaned really... cleaned before we go to Germany for 2 ( count em) two weeks. This is two weeks in hotel ugh. but it also means civilization and Europe's largest electronics cd,dvd etc... shop yay saturn. okay so the first one ( hotel) remember the word of the day is disjointed)has a great bathtub ( we have been there before) in it's room and the second hotel has wlan. I am hoping I can sit and write but I know what will happen I will lose the thread because it's not home and i am away from all my ref material and access to instant knowledge... god I love the internet. and I will sulk about and maybe just watch tv ( what is tv again?) and god forbid...relax even read..... I do more research for this story than i have ever done for any other book , short stories, or novella I have ever written mostly because I am not playing in my own created sand box but in a well established one with sucha convoluted canon and time line that if you don't do the home work you will get called to the mat. Hence the set up with main desk top and lap top one i write on the other I research on...instant everything at my fingertips...gonna add a fourth word of the day here..SPOILED. and even more dangerous am playing with such well loved characters that if I screw them up and have them do something that is out of character or what ever i will not only get called to the mat I will get lynched. It took me about three days to write the last bit that just went up. I sat and sat and re read it till the cows came home because it had to be done just right. It was damned painful actually.Hard to write harder to write well...and eventhen I still re read fix a word or two and agonize... Now we are on to the next bit and i am a bundle of wowser energy at the moment. I can't get the words out fast enough and I when I do it takes me a LONG time to get them into the right order... intense. The disjointedness comes from lack of sleep and too many words too many projects and that weird thing time does to me when I have taken on too much stuff and don't know where to start. It warps so that I think I have NO time to do anything when in fact I have three days whole days...counte em....which with the time wasting I do is more than enough... really it is.... we call this the 'doing the dog thing'....minds out of the gutter please... picture if you will a dog chasing it's tail.... this is a fruitless chase and gets the dog nowhere but still he does this over and over again. this is me.... scrolls, story house scrolls story house scrolls story house ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHH and what happens? NOTHING why because I am doing the dog thing and cannot stop! This is a well established pattern with me and in a day's time I will have a total melt down and then get to work and finish what i need to do and wonder what all the fuss was about. I so need that word in my life.-.... intense.... passion and intensity. that's me all or nothing black or white round and round. I guess, looking back... I have not really changed all that much. L. I know you are laughing your ass off. Got a nice compliment though on my story from a gamer who has joined our town. he said and I quote [b][i]I also read your fan-fic story. Nicely done. [/i][/b] this coming from a fellow gamer star wars fan is a big deal. Not to say that the nice things friends say isn't but somehow it always shocks me that people like it and someone in the game and the sw world will also have a vested interest in making sure it reads well, does this make sense? I think it is nice that a genre based story can cross boundaries though, like L. said... she doesn't do that SW thing but reads anyway because....some will read because of the SW thing and others... who knows... I just write because I HAVE TO! grr argg! wow I have spent 45 minutes writing this wordy ramble.... cool. time for more coffee oh hell just what I need caffine ( word #5) think my head's gonna explode now---- love you all, until then be excellent to each other. ps. Mi cannot wait to see your spiffy dress. It sounds yummy. I don't even know where my fabric and sewing machines are ..somewhere in the basement hidden in boxes... *sigh* going now bye. |
| living in the wordy world |
| 08.14.05 (8:54 am) [edit] |
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Tenessee Williams once wrote that he could not write about characters he was not somehow passionate about ( I paraphrase since I don't have the quote in front of me) and I have to agree with him. Writing is intense and while I am in the throws of this particular mess i have worded myself into I find my real life runs around it like a cat gone crazy. I told marcus this morning that it was intense. It was making me crazy because I experience what my characters experience and it is intense. It should not be this intense to write.... his reply was...in his usual dry style... of course it should how can you write something that readers will feel if you don't feel it too? *sigh* so there you go, I am living a star wars life through an alternate ego, working for the Empire running around doing lots of cool thjing I can't do in real life ( can't pilot a space ship... or move stuff with the force...) and I feel like I am having an affair with a fictional man who doesn't exist and I have my husband's okay because he reads it daily any way and finds it funny.... well it's not me exactly...but..you know what I mean. how weird is this??? gah! It is exhausting actually it's like straddling two worlds at the same time and I can't eat or breath or sleep till I get the words out of my head onto 'paper' and there they live. As if these two people and the world they live are bursting out of me like Alien aliens. Once the words are down some where, any where it is okay, sometimes this goes on for a week or two then I take a break and everything is quiet while they plot their way into the next chapter. Is this what being a writer is about...giving you real life up to your fictional life for awhile? It is like being posessed. and the really scarey thing is I LOVE IT. I love the passion and the intesity of it ( hehe L. I know you are smiling when you read this.... remember when we went to see that Ralph Feinnes movie.... the English Patient and at the end of it afterwards I said that is what I want that passion that fire and you said that was exactly what you did n't want it was too intense. Those words have stayed with me forever because it really defined how I lived. I wanted to burn and i didn't care how it happened. It is a wonder i survived at all.... I don't know if I am a particularly good writer and to be honest while it wodl be nice to think I am I actually don't worry about it, I do worry about gettingthe story right and the dialogue right and how the charachters are right... but is it good? I can't judge that, I do know I enjoy re reading it.... making a LOT of red pencil marks though phew... on the real life note.... I have scrolls to do and i am avoiding it. Most are half done so that's okay. Then next weekend we drive up to DE for two weeks. YAY see friends hang out go shopping....suddenly Hamburg is the center of the universe and Saturn is the golden shop. I love switzerland but it's so small and choice in the shops is limited big time, guess I got spoiled. nope make that....I am spoiled. We are stuck in our swg game and I keep running around like an in game one woman fashion show. Well, actually merlyn does that.... and goes dancing with her Jax ( cat). I did eventually kick sith ass which was nice, found teh villiage took a look around and ecided it was a dump and went home. Dathomir is a very scarey place. on normal news, the house needs tidying A. might be coming for a visit WOOT! and I need to sort out my life and my junk and do something with my studio which we will turn into a spare room as well since our current spare room is our computer room and we can't live without that. Oh my lord we are scarey. and spoiled. so life is okay. I am not too sick but i am also not 100% well either. I lost a lot of weight this summer which was okay since I had put enough on inthe last two years or so...now I get into the clothes I bought just before I left halifax again with the same comfort level....I could still get into them butthey were more snug than I like... but I make sure I eat well enough and stay away from the stuff that will start up the vicious cycle of unhappy guts. This getting older thing is for the birds. When you are twenty and healthy you don't give a potter's toss what you do, now I ponder a second glass of wine with dinner. oh well I live a good life and I am happy. Make the most of it while you can i say. Enjoy the silence and all that stuff. *sigh* now it is back into the world of Lucas and see what adventures are awaiting my alter egos... have an awesome sunday y'all. until then , Be excellent to each other... |
| The dark side |
| 08.11.05 (7:07 am) [edit] |
|
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away .... [url=] http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdet... [/url] some people are pretty cool ------------------------- ------------------------- ---------------- on the other hand I am working on many scrolls gotta to have them done by the weekend. We will be driving up to Germany sometimes next week. YAY civilization.... shops with stuff, movies I can understand... friends to see, greek food to eat and a holiday for me..of sorts. No internet access though. :( this means no game ( god did I actually write that?????) probably a good thing, i will have little geek with me and can still write DOTE I have pretty much all the information I need anyway to at least get the major facts right. Since people are still reading I can only hope they are also enjoying it. It's a fun story to write. In real life there are normal things that need to be done, now that the weather is not so blistering hot all the time I am no longer at odds with it or sick. This means house cleaning big time and normal stuff. Miss you guys and hope all is well,.... hugs |
| still here |
| 08.10.05 (5:26 am) [edit] |
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yep still here just not posting a whole lot cuz there isn't a whole lot to say. will try to come up with news later though. hugsess all around. |
| miracles |
| 08.03.05 (6:33 am) [edit] |
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[url=] http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/Art... [/url] this counts. |
| fireworks |
| 08.02.05 (7:23 am) [edit] |
|
Yesterday was aug1st, the swiss national holiday. This meant fireworks etc.... you can buy your won and set them off and stuff and it sounded like silvester ( new years eve) in Germany here was just weird. Especially with the howlers flying off in all directions. Around midnight though, mother nature decided that enough was enough and she would put on a fireworks display of her own and i have to tell you ladies and gents no one does it better. The entire night through we had howling gales, not just rumbling thunder but BOOMing thunder and non stop lighting multiple strikes. awesome I lay in bed watching the brilliant flashes of light feeling the house shake from the wind and tremble from the thunder and thought ya know... it just doesn't get better than this ( as long as one is safe and indoors) today is it windy and COOL oh how sweet the coolness is. got lots to do today, laundry to catch up on and house cleaningto deal with , we let stuff slid for 2 weeks because doingthe italian course on top of everything was just stressful, now we are free of morning classes and I can do housework again make my nice house all shiney and sweet. Then get back to writing DOTE and playing some swg and maybe even a scroll or two although I have to be honest my SCA interest right now is at an absolute all time low. After Nibelungen I don't really want to play any more. Too many i don't cares running around and the selfish factor of people seems to be WAY up not to meantion the pet jerk. PJ has a reallyinteresting way of looking at the world. me me me and me too. That's okay I have an internal ignore button and it is so on atm. I bought a neat children#s book in italian for age grou 8 and so far I mostly understand it with some dictionary help...but i can understand the story now how cool is that after just 2 weeks of intense course??? so far the story is about a crow named alphonse who meets a wizard and they decide to swap places, alphonse becomes a man and the wizard becomes a crow. :) so far so good. Italian is a beautiful speaking language so I read out loud to hear the words. I sound like a 4 year old though ...downright hilarious. anyhooooo the heat is down , my bp is back to normal and I don't feel like passingout or throwing up every two moments I do something like walk up the stairs or vacuum.... life is good and A. finally let me knwo she was still alive tehre was so much rejoicingit was scarey. Miss you all so much! ciao!! |
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moon phases |